Volume 3, Number 26: Another Kitchen Nightmares Update

(Note: I originally published this entry on August 31, 2008, to my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

Holy crap. It turns out that Gordon Ramsay visited not one, but two Metro Detroit restaurants. In addition to Giuseppi's Trattoria, Gordon also took on Jack's Waterfront Restaurant in Saint Clair Shores (it's near 9 Mile and Jefferson). I should go to both these places before the rest of the country finds out.

Two other restaurants that will be featured in season 2 are:

• Trobiano's Italian Dining in Great Neck, Long Island, NY
• Fiesta Sunrise Mexican Restaurant in West Nyack, NY. But according to this message board posting, Gordon didn't get through to the owner of this place.

How'd I find all this out? Fox posted a season preview on YouTube a couple of days ago, and it included a few quick snapshots of various restaurants he visited. (The video has since been removed.)

Volume 3, Number 25: Song Covers I'd Like to Hear

(Note: I originally posted this entry on August 30, 2008, to my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

I've come up with ideas where I wish that certain artists would cover certain songs by certain other artists. These ideas didn't all come up at once; they pretty much came to me over the last eight years or so.
Donald Duck - Break Stuff (originally performed by Limp Bizkit)
You've seen Donald Duck get frustrated and lose his temper. You may have even come across clips of Donald Duck swearing. Can't you just imagine him breaking the fourth wall and saying, "It's just one of those days"? I can imagine Donald Duck doing some other Limp Bizkit songs (like "Full Nelson" off the "Chocolate Starfish" CD: "You'll get knocked the f*** out/Cause your mouth's writing checks that your @$$ can't cash").

Bjork - White Rabbit (Jefferson Airplane)
Hearing this song, Jefferson Airplane's lead singer (Grace Slick) used inflections in the opening lines that reminded me of Bjork (who uses similar inflections in songs such as "Human Behavior"). It got me thinking, the instrumentation could use updating, too--something more orchestral.

Fiona Apple - A Day In The Life (The Beatles)
Fiona's already covered one Beatles song, "Across The Universe" (for the 1998 film Pleasantville). I think her voice would go well with this song, the last track from the Beatles' "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" album; there would be one lyric change, though. Not the English army, but "The U.S. Army had just won the war," partly because Apple's American, not English; and partly because the altered lyric could be taken as a cynical stance towards the war in Iraq.

Crash Test Dummies - Between The Wars (Billy Bragg)
I haven't heard from this Canadian band, who are best known by far for "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm," in about nine years. I've heard two different versions of Between The Wars--the original by Bragg, and the other by a virtually unknown gothic band called Illegal Teenage Bikini. Now, if the song were performed on a piano instead of a guitar, I think the voice of Brad Roberts (lead singer) would lend itself well to such a piano accompaniment (seeing as "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" had a piano in it, too). (Update 1-7-2010: Now that I think about it, British gothic rock vocalist Peter Murphy is another candidate to cover this song.)

Living Colour - Destination Unknown (Missing Persons)
This one bears some explaining. Living Colour (a great rock band from the late '80s and early '90s) reunited in 2003, and one of the tracks on the CD they released that year, Collideoscope, is Great Expectations, a song about a man who has become lazy and shiftless. I thought it sounded like a song that Missing Persons, a Los Angeles-based band from the New Wave era (early '80s) might have performed had the song been written way back then. It made me wonder if Living Colour could do any Missing Persons tracks, and Destination Unknown sprung to mind. You know how Living Colour likes to insert audio samples into their songs (e.g. Cult of Personality from Vivid, A ? of When from Collideoscope)? That would serve them well in a cover of Destination Unknown, too.

Iggy Pop - What's Good (Lou Reed)
First time I heard this song, I thought it was Iggy Pop who performed it. So now I wonder what it would have sounded like if Iggy really had performed it. I think it would have a harder edge than the original.

Sean Connery - One (Creed)
I was trying to imitate Creed's lead singer while hearing this song in my car, and long story short, when I got to "I feel angry, I feel helpless," the "helpless" sounded more like "helplesh" (like Sean Connery's well-documented speech impediment). So now whenever I sing along to any Creed song, I imitate Mr. Connery. He could do justice to a few other Creed songs, too (Higher, My Sacrifice, Arms Wide Open). I wonder if Darrell Hammond agrees.

Volume 3, Number 24: Kitchen Nightmares Returns

(Note: I originally posted this entry on August 26, 2008, on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

On September 4, one week from Thursday, the second season of Kitchen Nightmares premieres on Fox. It starts with a two-hour special in which Gordon Ramsay revisits six of the ten restaurants he went to last year. It's safe to assume he won't return to Lela's (which went out of business due to insurmountable debts), and there is no Sebastian's in Burbank, California anymore (because the owner of that restaurant decided to move back to Boston; the Burbank restaurant is now known as Robano's). That leaves eight restaurants that Gordon could possibly visit, but I'd be surprised if he managed to visit the former Seascape Inn (which got sold).

(UPDATE 1-7-2010: The former Seascape Inn is now one of a chain of J&R's Steak Houses.)

The following week will feature the Handlebar Restaurant in Mt. Sinai, NY. which Gordon visited in February. According to MSN's TV site, the owners were in denial about the restaurant's outdated decor and the head chef's lack of passion.

I've found proof that Gordon truly saw more of America this year (unlike last year, when he stuck around New York and Los Angeles).

For starters, the September 18 episode will feature a restaurant called Giuseppe's, not far at all from me in Macomb Township, Michigan.

Two of the four restaurants listed below are in the midwestern U.S.:

Sabatiello's in Stamford, CT
J. Willy's Bar & Grille in South Bend, IN
Hannah & Mason's in Cranbury, NJ
Cafe 36 in La Grange, IL

Volume 3, Number 23: Used Car Sales Tips

(Note: I originally posted this entry on July 29, 2008, on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)
As you know, I recently bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Prix (and am very happy with it, thank you). I found that car on Craigslist; in fact, I had been checking the local Craigslist used car listings every day. I still do, from time to time, just out of curiosity (just to see the deals that would have been available to me if the problems I had with the Ford hadn't occurred until now). However, I find that some sellers just don't follow a few important rules (note: thankfully, the guy who sold me the Pontiac did):

1. Spelling and grammar matter. It turns me off when someone uses "breaks" instead of "brakes," or "transmition" for "transmission." If the seller can't use proper spelling and grammar, how would I know if they're smart enough to handle their end of the transaction? This also applies to misspellings of certain car models (for example, I've seen "Cavalier" spelled as "Cavilier", and "Brougham" spelled as "Broham"--darnit, you've been driving the car for so long, you should know how it's spelled).
2. Don't hold any important details back--even negative details such as high mileage or mechanical problems. When I see a newer car being sold at what a price I find reasonable, and I check the listing and it doesn't mention the mileage, I scoff, "Must have a lot of miles on it" and move on to the next listing that interests me. Or when someone says, "The body and interior are in great shape," but doesn't mention anything about the car's mechanical condition, I might imagine it that car to be a "mechanic's special" (read: needs lots of mechanical repair). Even something as seemingly minor as the trim level (the two or three letters that usually come after the name of the car) can affect the sales price (for example, a 2007 Chevy Cobalt LT has more standard equipment than a Cobalt LS, so all other things considered equal, the LT should sell for a higher price). Another thing--list the options that came with the car. Each option is a minor selling point (as long as you don't use them to overinflate the car's price; for more details, see point 3, "Price your car reasonably").
3. Price your car reasonably. I know it sounds obvious, but there are some people in this world who seem to think they can sell a car for more than it's worth. For example, as I write this, some yutz on Craigslist is trying to sell a '94 Ford Thunderbird with 136,000 miles on it for $2,800. Just to clarify things, a few different pricing experts, such as Kelley Blue Book and Edmunds, use three different values for pricing cars. An explanation of each value follows:

Trade-in value: What you should expect a dealer to pay you if you were to trade your car in to that dealer for another car
Private party value: What you should expect to get if you're an individual selling your car to another individual, or what you should expect to pay if you're an individual buying one from another individual
Dealer retail value: What you should expect to pay a dealer if you were to buy a car from that dealer

Now. The whole idea behind "private party" transactions--allowing individuals to sell used cars--to other individuals is eliminating "the middleman"--the dealer. In an ideal "private party" transaction, the seller would make more money in a "private party" transaction than they would by trading it in to the dealer; the buyer would save money compared to buying the same car from a dealer.

Therefore, if you're an individual looking to sell to another individual, you should always check the "private party" value and set the sales price for around that value, maybe a little higher (to compensate for the time you spend dealing with all those potential buyers). But if you're trying to sell an older car for $3000 and my research on Edmunds.com says it's not even worth $2000, you won't get my attention--at least not until you lower the darn price. Going back to that '94 T-Bird--even if the seller was a dealer and the T-Bird had every option available, it wouldn't fetch more than $1700; thing is, the seller is not a dealer and shouldn't even expect $1000 for it.

One more thing--even before listing the car, I hope that you, as the seller, have a clear title. I realize that this is true in almost all cases. But nine years ago, I came across one seller who still owed money on the car (I talked about it in more detail in this 2007 blog entry). He had this idea where I'd give him the money, he'd clear the title, and he'd send me the title in the mail. However, in that scenario, he could have then turned around and reported the car stolen.

Volume 3, Number 22: A Hidden Danger

(Note: I originally posted this entry on July 17, 2008 on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

I just came across a scary report on ABCNews.com. The president of my local Pontiac Grand Prix club brought it to my attention. It's a segment from ABC's 20/20 newsmagazine program in which Brian Ross reports on tires that various dealers sell as brand new, and consumers assume them to be new, but in reality, they may already be a few years old (except that many people don't know about a date code stamped on the tire that can tell them the age of the tire). According to Ross, research and tests have shown that tires can become dangerous after six years, regardless of how many miles they have on them.

Needless to say, I now feel the need to check all of my tires to see just how old they are.

That said, I am disgusted with Corporate America's increasing disregard for the consumer, especially where matters like consumer safety and giving them what they paid for are concerned. Previous to watching this report, I assumed (as many undoubtedly did) that anytime I bought new tires, they would indeed be brand new, not 4 or 6 years old. And it's not earth-shattering revelation that rubber loses elasticity with age--ever try re-using an old rubber band, only to have it snap on you? Point being, these tire manufacturers should be recalling tires that have not been sold a certain period of time after the date on the tire (using the 6-year recommendation used in Great Britain as an initial guideline). But they don't, because they know such a measure would cut into their profits big time.

Volume 3, Number 21: I Got Published (Well, Sort Of)

(Note: I originally posted this entry on July 9, 2008 on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

I know, it's been more than a year since the Chris Benoit double murder-suicide, but here I go with another Benoit-related blog entry.

It turns out after I wrote my most recent Benoit-related blog entry, Irv Muchnick put an entry in his blog the very next day in which he commended me for "intelligent backup of my report proving the dishonesty of WWE’s Benoit tribute show." (On May 22, I had summarized what Muchnick said in his April 3 blog entry that WWE knew the Benoit deaths were the result of a murder-suicide well before the tribute show went on the air; I also argued that even before the facts came forth, there was already a very good chance that Benoit was the perpetrator, citing one study that said that most mass murders are familicides, and another stating that 95% of murder-suicides were perpetrated by men.)

I didn't know about it until today because I hadn't been reading Muchnick's blog on a regular basis. Today marked the first time in over a month that I had done so. The main reason I read it to begin with is that he's been working on a book about the Benoit murder-suicide. It was originally scheduled to come out earlier this year; however, Muchnick keeps digging up new information related to the Dr. Phil Astin probe, the Fayette County (Ga.) sheriff's investigation, and so on, leading me to wonder if the book will cover more than just the "perfect storm of physical, mental and emotional pain" that led to the horrible events of that June weekend.

It is an honor for a journalist of Muchnick's background to mention a blog entry of mine in his blog. It's kind of like getting a letter published in a magazine like Newsweek or Sports Illustrated. Muchnick is one of the foremost journalists (along with Dave Meltzer) in the sports-entertainment trade, and was praised by Sports Illustrated writer Frank Deford for his knowledge of that trade. He is also the author of Wrestling Babylon: Piledriving Tales of Drugs, Sex, Death and Scandal, a book he published in April 2007.

Volume 3, Number 20: The Grand Prix Era

(Note: I originally posted this entry in on June 16, 2008, on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog.)

The era of the Taurus is over, and the era of the Grand Prix is about to begin.

What do I mean by that? Since October 2002, I had been driving a 1997 Ford Taurus, but last Friday, I bought a 2002 Pontiac Grand Prix. It's got a powerful engine (200 horsepower V6, 225 ft-lb of torque), tons of options I'll have a ball with (leather upholstery, a power sunroof, heated seats, a rearview mirror with a compass and thermometer built in, and that "heads-up" display that lets you see your speed reflected on the inside of the windshield), and of course, it's five years newer.

I found it on Craigslist and bought it from its previous owner in Huntington Woods (just a few miles from me, and it's a very affluent suburb of Detroit) for $4,800. I ran an appraisal on edmunds.com that suggested that I should have paid over $5,500 for it (due mainly to all the options that were on it). If you want to check out what your car might be worth on edmunds.com, go here.

As for the Taurus, it never had any major problems, but recently, it developed a few bad ones that, if I fixed all of them, it might have cost more than the car was worth:

• Six months ago, the wipers and the washer pump started to work intermittently (probably a wiring problem);
• The battery was 5 years old and acid was starting to leak from the terminals;
• The gas mileage had declined over the last 2 years (I was getting 17 mpg);
• That same computer also gave me the infamous "SERVICE ENGINE SOON" light;
• The driver door would not shut whenever the weather got really cold (like 10 degrees or lower);
• The passenger door wouldn't shut if the handle on the outside stuck (probably due to a broken spring), which was a pain in the butt on the few occasions that someone rode with me as I had to explain to them about the handle;
• The upholstery was made of cheap fabric that had already started to look bad when I bought the car in 2002, and it was looking worse now;
• A drive boot may or may not have needed replacing (a mechanic told me one of my drive boots was cracked, but I never verified that with my regular mechanic);
• One thing my regular mechanic did find was a broken bracket in the rear that caused this "clunk" noise to come from the trunk every time I hit a bump; until he told me what it was, I just thought maybe I didn't fasten the spare tire securely enough
• One of the cruise control buttons broke off my steering wheel--no big deal as I don't use cruise control, but it sucks when anything breaks off.

And finally, there was the Rule of 11. I have a history of driving cars that break down by or before they are 11 years old:

• 1991: I had a 1980 Toyota Tercel, and in the spring of '91, it started smoking due to a bad head gasket. The car already had over 100,000 miles on it, which, for a 1980 car, was an extremely high mileage, so its value was very low and did not warrant repairing.
• 1999: I had been driving a 1988 Ford Festiva for seven years when it developed the following problem: In cold weather, water condensation would get into the fuel line, causing the car to be either hard to start, or impossible.
• 2001: I had a 1993 Oldsmobile Achieva that blew a head gasket, and the resulting coolant leak caused a bunch of electrical problems. I decided to donate the car to Purple Heart and spend $1,400 on a dinged-up '93 Honda Civic instead. As it was, the Oldsmobile's Quad 4 engine design meant that replacing the head gasket alone would mean hours of labor, costing more than the car was worth. Fixing the electrical problems (such as the courtesy lights staying on all the time) would have cost more.
• The Taurus was built in August 1997 and so was two months away from turning 11. I figured that all the problems I listed above were signs that it was about to fall victim to the Rule of 11. I'd just as soon put that money towards a newer one, and so I did.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the Taurus and it got me through some tough times. It only broke down once in the five years and eight months that I owned it, and there was only one day when I missed work because it had to be in the shop. I took it to Chicago, I took it to Pentwater (for a friend's wedding in 2005), I drove it 25 miles or more to work more than 400 times (by my estimation, at least), and it almost never gave me problems.

One minor bit of trivia: I believe that buying the Pontiac makes me the first member of the family to drive a car that was built in the 21st century. My Grand Prix was built in June 2002. Sander (my older brother) still has a '98 Ford Escort sedan, my mother still drives a '98 Saturn SL2, and Josh is still driving a '95 Suzuki Sidekick.