Thursday, January 7, 2010

Volume 4, Number 4: More Assorted Odd Thoughts & Ideas

(Note: I originally posted this entry on my Yahoo! GeoCities blog in on February 24, 2009.)

First, a quick update on my previous blog entry: 11 days ago, Peanut Corporation of America filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection and shut down its last remaining plant (in Suffolk, Virginia). Jean Halloran, the director of Consumers Union, stated in response, "It is unacceptable for corporations to put consumers' health at risk and then simply declare bankruptcy and go out of business when they get caught. PCA's declaration of bankruptcy will, among other things, shield it from liability suits filed by consumers who became sick or whose loved ones died as a result of eating PCA's peanut products."

Now, for more odd thoughts and ideas:

  • I'm pissed off that Ryan Seacrest has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but Gene Wilder doesn't. What the f&#* has Seacrest done?
  • I don't believe that nice guys finish last... but it sure seems like they hardly ever finish first and pricks never finish last.
  • I've seen potato and onion pierogies, and potato and cheese pierogies. What I'd like to see is one with onion, cheese, bacon and chives (so it would be more like a baked potato--just have some sour cream to dip 'em in, that would be an excellent side dish).

  • I've been watching Life On Mars for a few months now, and I can imagine Harvey Keitel uttering the lines made famous three decades ago by Karl Malden: "It could happen to you. So don't carry cash, carry American Express Travelers Cheques. Don't leave home without them." I mean, Malden did a '70s TV cop show (The Streets of San Francisco); Life On Mars (another cop show) is set in 1973. Malden was famous for his nose; Keitel's character in Life On Mars has said "The nose knows" in at least a couple of episodes. Malden was around 60 when "The Streets of San Francisco" began airing in 1972; Keitel will turn 70 later this year. Finally, both men are alumni of the famous Actors Studio Drama School.
  • Anyone ever try mixing orange soda and Vernors together? I've done that, although it's been years. (I think it's 1 part orange to 1 part Vernors, but maybe it was 3 parts orange to 2 parts Vernors.) Think of the result as a "spiced orange" soda.
  • You know how the two oldest NFL teams to never appear in a Super Bowl are the Lions and the Browns? They have more in common than that. In the post-merger era, both accomplished next to nothing (the Lions have one playoff victory; the Browns have four). Both took on new owners in the early 1960s who have drawn the ire of their fans (William Clay Ford with the Lions, Art Modell because he moved his team in 1995). Both cities have suffered economic and population declines in recent years. Also, in 1980, wide receiver Ahmad Rashad of the Minnesota Vikings caught a game-winning TD pass in Week 15. If it wasn't for that catch, the Lions would have won the NFC Central and the Vikings would have been out of the NFC playoffs. Who'd Rashad make that catch against? Yep, the Cleveland Browns, who incidentally blew a 14-point lead in the fourth quarter of that game. For all those reasons, when anyone asks me what team I'd root for if the Lions left Detroit, I'd answer "the Cleveland Browns" without hesitation. They're basically Detroit's AFC team.
  • Ever heard of jumping the shark? Well, Subway has created a commercial that has jumped the shark. I like the return of the $5 footlong special, but a musical dance number of the "Five... five dollar... five dollar footlong" jingle at the front counter? That's just nuts.
    About a year ago I e-mailed Hostess with the suggestion that they come out with Ding Dongs that have mint creme (as opposed to the usual vanilla creme) in them. They were kind enough to send me a coupon for any Hostess product free. Recently, another idea came up: What about Ding Dongs with a dark chocolate coating on the outside and coconut creme on the inside? The idea was inspired by those dark chocolate-coated coconut patties my dad used to get as part of this shipment of Indian River grapefruits and oranges. Gosh, those were good times.
  • Some time ago, I admitted that the first time I heard of Hell's Kitchen, I thought it was an American adaptation of the British sitcom "Chef!" (which starred Jamaican-British comedian Lenny Henry as Gareth Blackstock, who predates Gordon Ramsay by at least seven years; like Ramsay, Chef Blackstock is at the top of his profession and hurls all kinds of insults and invective at everybody under him in an effort to get them to do their best). And it just hit me--a "Chef!" movie where Chef Blackstock has sold Le Chateau Anglais due to economic problems and is looking to become head chef at another restaurant, and the only restaurant offering him a job is one straight out of Kitchen Nightmares.
  • Finally, I'm glad someone did an ad advising people how stupid it is to use the word "gay" where they should be using words like "wrong," "crazy" or, yes, "stupid" instead. I'd like to see a similar set of ads telling people to please stop using the word "retarded" in a similar fashion as that just serves to offend mentally-challenged people.
  • TV show drinking games. They're generally set up to favor the big, fat guys who have so much body mass that they need more alcohol to be drunk than a relatively small, skinny woman. But I have an idea: I would set it up so that for a certain event, only one person takes a drink. You write down each event on an index card (e.g. in Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Captain Picard says 'Thank you, Mr. Data,' +1 drink" on one card, "Anyone says 'Shut up, Wesley,' +1 drink" on another, "Commander Riker repeats part what someone else says immediately after hearing it, +2 drinks" on another, and so on). Then you shuffle the cards and distribute them so that each person gets a different set of events.

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